Him: Topic #8
Phone Sex: Talk dirty to me…
Phone sex as an outlet or sexual kinks that someone might not be comfortable talking about in a real life situation is great! Phone sex for the thousand pound guy who’s looking to get his jollies off, not so much. I feel like phone sex is one of those things that unless you have a serious disability or sexually extreme kink, just shouldn’t be used.
When I think about how popular the were before the internet it makes me a little sad. People were so interested in getting a quick fix sexually that they would just call a sex line instead of go out and meet people. I don’t mean to sound like my mother, but thats one of my biggest problems with my generation. Get off of the phone/messenger/facebook and MEET PEOPLE.
I don’t know, something about calling a stranger and asking him/her to talk dirty to you for a fee while you rub one out just blows my mind. Not in the good way either. Personally I would rather find an ACTUAL PERSON to be with rather than listen to what could be your Mom talk nasty to you. I don’t know about you, but I prefer to get off with someone I can see and touch and kiss, not with a disembodied voice.
Sexting: Text something dirty to me…and don’t get me thrown in Jail
I’ll be the first guy to admit that I’ve ‘sexted’ on more than one occasion. What can I say, I have a way with words that makes my sexting really, really good. That being said, I’ve never sent pictures of myself naked to anyone, that’s just stupid and can be dangerous.
I just don’t get how people, usually teenagers, think it’s a good idea to snap a picture of themselves and send them out into the ether. When I was in High School there was a young lady that sent a very explicitly nude photo of herself to her boyfriend. I’m sure you can all guess what happened next right? The poor girls boyfriend sent the picture to a friend, who sent it to another friend…and so on until everybody had seen her naked and spread open…if you get my drift.
The Police ended up getting involved and a bunch of people got in a lot of trouble. The most depressing thing about this, for me at least, is that the girl made a stupid decision and now her Hoo-ha is floating around even to this day. Thats not something that I think should be common place, but in this day and age I think it is.
Long Distance Relationships: Hey, I know you live in china, but I love you, love me too?
Fun fact, Until very recently I thought I was going to be in a long distance relationship. In this case long distance was a couple of hours away, but that still counts. That went down in flames when the other person decided meaningless sex with people he had no real connection with was more important than, you know, a relationship.
The funny thing about that though, is I don’t know that I would have a problem being in a long distance relationship with someone and it being kinda open. When I say kinda open I of course mean that we would talk about what was alright and what wasn’t as far as sex with other people goes. Would I be alright with an open relationship in a context that wasn’t long distance? Hell no.
I understand that guys, and from what I’ve seen especially gay guys, seem to need large amounts of sex. In this particular situation both the almost boyfriend and I have very high sex drives, so I would have considered an open relationship as long as we were both emotionally faithful to each other. Alas, that went down in flames because he’s a jackass who doesn’t know how to be an adult. If you’re reading Mr. Emotionally stunted, I did warn you that I was going to write about you this week.
For some reason a lot of people think that Long Distance Relationships are destined to fail no matter what. I don’t think that’s right though, I feel like they won’t work if the people involved in the relationship aren’t willing to be honest with each other about their needs and expectations. I mean, is a guy swears to his girlfriend who lives across the country that he’ll be sexually faithful, and he knows thats not something he can do, the relationship is going to end in disaster.
I’m really curious, what do you guys thing about these topics?
Her: Topic #5
This topic is very interesting to me as I work with LGBTQ issues and the military has always been an interest of mine. I have read several book about the history and repeal of DADT, one book in particular stands out to me is “Our Time: Breaking the Silence of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’”. This book goes into the stories of actual military members who have personally been affected by DADT.
In response to the questions I posed in the Topic Info post…
What do you think of the repeal and the initial implementation?
-The repeal is one of the best things that could have happened. I don’t think that somebody’s sexual orientation determines whether they are fit for service or not. And for the initial implementation - what were they thinking?!?!?
Do you think gay/lesbian/bisexual services members will feel safe enough to serve openly, or do you think there will always be some caution due to the past?
-I think military members will be reserved in being completely open. Once it becomes normal and in several years once the repeal isn’t so fresh in everybody’s mind I think it won’t even be a matter of safety and opening up to one’s military unit. But the past will always be there so I’m sure some people won’t feel comfortable opening up completely.
Do you think that the same rights of serving will ever be given to transgender individuals?
-I hope so! If a person is able to pass all of the physical and mental requirements I don’t think gender or changing one’s gender should be an issue.
I have seriously considered joining the military myself, and if I was serving with someone who was gay, I wouldn’t care as long as they had my back, and I feel that that is the attitude everybody should take when viewing gay/bi/lesbian people in the military.
Him: Topic #5
In case our readers don’t know, both Her and I take turns finding topics and doing research for those topics. We also NEVER, EVER tell each other what that topics going to be. So, imagine my surprise when I saw that there were some nice questions to answer for this weeks topic!
Before you I answer those questions though, I’m going to give my two cents worth, as I’m prone to do. I was only two years old when Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) was passed in 1992, so I don’t remember when it happened. What I do remember was seeing news about DADT on t.v. over the years, I was never really interested because, honestly, I never once entertained the possibility of my joining the military.
On to the Questions: “So, for Him and Her, what do you think of the repeal and the initial implementation? Do you think gay/lesbian/bisexual service members will feel safe enough to serve openly, or do you think there will always be some caution due to the past? Also, branching off from sexual orientation, do you think that the same rights of serving will ever be given to transgender individuals?”
1. My thoughts surrounding the repeal, when it happened, can be summed up simply with, “About fucking time.” I mean, if someone wants to serve his/her country they should be able to serve it openly. They should be able to serve without fear of reprimand if someone should ever find out they are gay. I mean, if someone is willing to risk their life for all of us, shouldn’t they be able to live that life openly and without fear?
The initial implementation makes me a little sick to my stomach at this point in my life. I’m very much more informed about human rights and individual freedoms. The idea that congress thought it was a good idea to place these restrictions on ANYONE, much less gay LGBTQ people, is staggering.
2. I know people who are in the military, several people actually. Most of them are straight, and I think thats important because i’ve asked them in the past how they felt about DADT. Almost every time those straight men and women said the same thing, or something very much like it, “I don’t care what you do in the bedroom as long as I know you’ve got my back and are going to keep me from getting killed.”
The few gay/lesbian/bi people I’ve spoken to seem to feel like they’re able to be themselves…and not fear any real negative feedback. From the outside looking in it seems like the Repeal of DADT came not with a bang, but rather a resounding, “Meh.”
3. This is my least favorite question because it points out that while the repeal of DADT is a great success for the LGB and Q demographics in the military, the T, which stands for Transgendered, has been left out. Again. Which is bullshit. I’m sure that someday things will change, and until then, heres what the American Psychological Association has to say about Transgendered individuals:
A psychological state is considered a mental disorder only if it causes significant distress or disability. Many transgender people do not experience their gender as distressing or disabling, which implies that identifying as transgender does not constitute a mental disorder. For these individuals, the significant problem is finding affordable resources, such as counseling, hormone therapy, medical procedures, and the social support necessary to freely express their gender identity and minimize discrimination. Many other obstacles may lead to distress, including a lack of acceptance within society, direct or indirect experiences with discrimination, or assault. These experiences may lead many transgender people to suffer with anxiety, depression, or related disorders at higher rates than nontransgender persons.
In the United States, payment for health care treatment by insurance companies, Medicare, and Medicaid must be for a specific “disorder,” defined as a condition within the International Classification of Diseases (ICD) or the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV). According to DSM-IV, people who experience intense, persistent gender incongruence can be given the diagnosis of gender identity disorder. This diagnosis is highly controversial among some mental health professionals and transgender communities. Some contend that the diagnosis inappropriately pathologizes gender noncongruence and should be eliminated. Others argue that it is essential to retain the diagnosis to ensure access to care.
Topic #5: Homosexuality in the Military, the History of DADT
Topic #5: Homosexuality in the Military, the History of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
So this week’s topic is a little different. It isn’t kinky or very sexual in nature, but it deals with people sexual orientation, so I think it fits this blog. This week’s topic is Don’t Ask Don’t Tell and its history and presence in the military. So first, a history lesson!
In 1950 the Uniform Code of Military Justice was signed by President Truman which set up discharge from the military for any homosexual service member.
Then in 1982 Ronald Reagan stated that “homosexuality is incompatible with military service.” In addition he said if any service member engaged in homosexual acts or stated that they were homosexual or bisexual they would be discharged.
1992 Bill Clinton started to campaign and promised to lift the ban. However he couldn’t quite eliminate it so they implemented Don’t Ask Don’t Tell as a compromise. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell sets it up so that military members will not be asked about their sexual orientation.
2008 Obama starts to campaign and promises a full repeal of the law.
December 5, 2010 House passes repeal.
December 18, 2010 Senate passes repeal, sending it to Obama and ending the 17 year ban on gays serving openly in the military.
So as you can see there have been a lot of views on homosexuality in the military. Now let’s move into the impact of the repeal on the military.
“The Center for Military Readiness warned of “harmful consequences” in the week after top Pentagon officials certified that the military was ready for repeal, as required by Congress.
The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, in contrast, said repeal was “a significant step toward equality for all who want to serve their country in uniform,” one that would no longer force gay, lesbian and bisexual service members to “hide a part of themselves.”
The impact among heterosexual service members is also less significant than expected.
In the 2011 Military Times Poll, 59 percent of active-duty respondents said they did not believe they would be affected by the repeal. When service members were asked this year how they were affected after the repeal, 69 percent said they had felt no impact.
Although units where someone disclosed they are gay, lesbian or bisexual after repeal felt more of a change, 59 percent still said the repeal had no noticeable effect.”
So, for Him and Her, what do you think of the repeal and the initial implementation? Do you think gay/lesbian/bisexual service members will feel safe enough to serve openly, or do you think there will always be some caution due to the past? Also, branching off from sexual orientation, do you think that the same rights of serving will ever be given to transgender individuals?
“Transgender individuals are prohibited from entering military service by medical regulations. To join the military, potential service members are required to undergo a physical examination as part of the entry process. During this examination, the military may reject the potential service member if he or she has had any type of genital surgery. Furthermore, even if the potential service member has not had surgery but identifies as transgender, the military considers this to be a mental health condition which disqualifies them from entering military service. Transgender individuals may request a waiver to enter the military, although waivers are difficult to obtain.”